Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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