Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
