Whod you bang
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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