John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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