i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
