Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
