would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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