i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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