So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
