You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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