I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Buhtt sex?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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