Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
