How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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