The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
