I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
