Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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