States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
God, I missed his penis.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
