One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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