another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I wish there were birth control emojis
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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