It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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