i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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