Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
