I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
