Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
