How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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