I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
