Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
