YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize