If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize