Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
