Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
