we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
