there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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