I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
