I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We left an ass print on the piano.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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