If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love having hate sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
