I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am available for nakedness
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