i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize