I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This baby is an asshole
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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