I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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