I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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