A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
