how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
