i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
