1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
