i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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