I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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