Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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