yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
