I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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