She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
