I only kidnapped one of them. chill
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize