Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight

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(678): View more from Georgia

His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends

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(720): View more from Colorado

Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital

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(941): View more from Florida

It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it

(941): View more from Florida

Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini

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