as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
