it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
