Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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