i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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